Warm in Mexico, But Frozen . . .

Yes, Mr. Tom, we will be able to reinstate access to your frozen account after you answer a few questions created to protect your security.

According to the special questions you answered when you opened your account, you identified your favorite painter. I’m going to show you paintings by 4 famous artists. Please tell me which one is by the painter you indicated in your account creation.

That’s ok. That’s ok. Let’s try this one. Which of the following 5 songs I will play for you is by the singer songwriter you identified as your favorite in 2018 when you opened your account?

OK. We can try something else.

Using public records, I will ask you some questions that only you know the answer to. OK, here we go. If you add the first and the third number in your 9 digit social security number and then divide by the last number – now this is a two part question – is the number you calculated above or below 4?  Good. Good. Is it a whole number or a decimal.

That’s OK. A lot of people don’t know what decimals are.

Let’s try this. Again using public records.

How many cars have you owned since 2015?

Take your time.

OK. Good.

According to repair records, which one did you take to the shop most often?

Well, we need you to be more specific because there are a lot of models of Toyotas.  Was yours the Toyota XLS? The XSE? The XLE? or The XLE limited?

I AM the supervisor, Mr. Tom. Please be a bit more patient. Just one more question.

Finally, and this is for the anti-money laundering law recently passed by Congress, imagine that you can access your account, what do you intend to do with the funds you access?

Buy a boat

Rent an Air B n B

Donate a small amount to a local charity

Help your children with child care

Have a nice dinner out

Your account is insufficient for “all of the above”, Mr. Tom. Please pick one.

Your business IS our business, Mr. Tom. That is why we are here to serve you.

Let me help you. Try “donate to charity.”

Great! Great! We will be unfreezing your account no later than tomorrow at 10am Greenwich Mean Time. If for any reason your account remains frozen at that time, please call back at this number and someone will be happy to assist you.